1. |
But When I Know Who I Am
03:53
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I knew a boy at school named William
And we didn’t get along
But it struck me how it shifted
And he was one of my few friends
He moved away at some early age
And I never thought of him much
But I guess my brain retained how
I had never had that trust
I had a dream that we were both at
A giant school with deadly traps
I traveled far and wide to find him
In an attic wooden black
I had come back from the future
cause I knew that he was dead
And the blood came rush before me,
but we always knew our lines
William, I know you are dead
If you don’t get out of your head
How can I tell you to leave
Without saying that I love thee?
I walked away when I lied
“You know, I have always loved you”
Suddenly, his suicidal perch
Turned into my own shadow’s lurk
I went around this school with errands
Tossed around by random kids
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here
But I’ll always grant your wish
And now William thinks he owns me
Cause he thinks that love is cute
And I’ll stay with it regardless
Cause I live avoiding guilt
Should I be proud or confused
As the savior of this poor boy?
All that I do is appease
And I wonder what will I be?
Should I be proud or confused
As the savior of this poor boy?
All that I do is appease
And I wonder what will I be?
But when I know who I am
There are so many things to add
But when I know who I am
There are so many things to add
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2. |
Ekans
02:22
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Have you ever promised you’d do crazy things?
Commit yourself to one thing and write it down?
Is it possible to hurt my own feelings?
But I believe people change and it’s inevitable
And if I had a mirror to look
Into the future, what would I be?
I see myself defying my own past
I see myself defying my own past
Just like Sharon and Joni swapped each other’s dreams
What I am might once have been foreign to me
But even then the people wouldn’t see that I grow
Physical appearance is everything
And if I had a mirror to look
Into the future, what would I be?
I see myself defying my own past
I see myself defying my own past
Stay with me, even if I always change
Stay with me, even if I never change
I write you, I write you
I write you, I write you
I’m right you, I’m right you
I’m right you, I’m right you
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3. |
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Everything you have loved
Sleep through the quiet lust
Turn away from all that
Let yourself turn to dust
I will go with my soul surrendered
And we’re not alone
Not alone
Not alone, not alone, not alone
And we’re not alone
Not alone
Not alone, not alone, not alone
Everything you have loved
Sleep through the quiet lust
Turn away from all that
Let yourself turn to dust
I will go with my soul surrendered
And we’re not alone
Not alone
Not alone, not alone, not alone
And we’re not alone
Not alone
Not alone, not alone, not alone
Everything you have loved
Sleep through the quiet lust
Turn away from all that
Let yourself turn to dust
I will go with my soul surrendered
You don’t walk alone
Not alone
Not alone, not alone, not alone
And we’re not alone
Not alone
Not alone, not alone, not alone
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4. |
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I never could find the words that you were needing
Tell me please, forgive me lady, and be with me
I don’t know if you feel anything against me
I don’t even know if I should say anything
The steam trains are slow
I hop on the rails to you
But I missed your point of view
It’s worse than I thought
I can’t see the glimmering words
I wish I knew how you were hurt
It’s worse than I thought, it’s worse than I thought
It’s worse than I thought, it’s worse than I thought
Why didn’t I just ask you when you were in trouble?
All I ever said to you was brand new problems
I don’t want you to believe your pain was bothersome
That’s the way I came across but I sure hope not
And if I could hide it in the midst of darkness
Would that be the only way to heal this burden?
I can’t even comprehend how to be broken
The steam trains are slow
I hop on the rails to you
But I missed your point of view
It’s worse than I thought
I can’t see the glimmering words
I wish I knew how you were hurt
It’s worse than I thought, it’s worse than I thought
It’s worse than I thought, it’s worse than I thought
It’s worse than I thought, it’s worse than I thought
It’s worse than I thought, it’s worse than I thought
It’s worse than I thought, I need some good thoughts
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5. |
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[I didn't know what love was]
There’s a dumpster for his feelings
I didn’t know what love was
I wanted to receive it
If I did deserve it
I didn’t understand how others’ hearts work
Is this a dumpster for his feelings
Or genuine love
It sure hurt to be lonely
Was I the only lonely girl?
I found an atom of hope
And stretched it to big dreams
It was quite hard to see if
I existed in their minds
I felt like everything was
One-sided all the time
I thought that he’s the one who was truly clueless
But in the end, I know the answer
I am the fool
There’s a dumpster for his feelings
And sometimes I felt like
A surgeon who cannot bear
These images at night
I didn’t want to go
I held onto falseness
And the deepest gems of info
My ears kept closed
[The old frame across the universe]
I am a painting in a frame of thousand years
I have been cut out, stolen from the gallery
They rolled me up and traded me round different homes
My life is slowly changing and my spirit grows
As I see through the telescope the universe
The closed half-sphere, reflection of my own back head
Chromatic aberration of my old home frame
But seeing it from all this way is not the same
Every time I failed was a trial
Being pushed around could only make me strong
Maybe this amputation was vital
And made me ready to see the true dream
I am a painting without frame for thousand years
I have old marks and signatures from different fears
I know one day my beauty will not be unknown
My life is slowly changing and my spirit grows
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6. |
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The layers of a clover green shadow
Represents the rarity of friends
I feel I’m alien when I go out and acquaint
They pull the hue-changing spirit out of me
I think funny thoughts to distract from my lost friend
The funny feeling sits around and waits until it’s dead
I am growing older and I feel
Ghostly insects on my leg
How do you know time can pass so fast
And leave you empty after all the facts?
I’m solitary now but when there’s more
People, I feel all alone
There’s one more month until my birthday
It’s great how my life is a joke
All I see through my eyes is a severed road
How could you be so deeply soap?
You quit trying secretly to block me from your circle
The truth is that it’s both our faults but you’re the one who broke
You planned everything with my friends without me
I’m just the way I am but you’re the one who hurt me most
I never realized how much I always think of you
Many things around my life
Were built upon us two best friends
I don’t know how
The highest layer of the green shadow
Overtaken by a deeper dark
Do you have no sympathy for the parasites?
Take a look, you’ll see me on the ground
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7. |
Morning
02:55
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I will greet you in the morning
I’ll distract you from the sights you see
And we meet again tomorrow
But together will we ever be
Every time that you are with me
I think you already know
But it’s time for me to go home
‘Cause my time is running out
Save me with your words
Be the first although
You’re far
You’re far
Save me with your words
Be the first although
You’re far
You’re far
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8. |
Bodies Fall Apart
02:53
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Suddenly I’m living
In a world where I can’t understand anyone’s face
Touching, touching, touching
Touching and mutilating bodies, insane!
My friend had eyes that shifted like a swiss army knife
Every time I took a picture, it was a different guy
I don’t wanna make you comprehend a moving work of art
There’s something about the way he moves that made him fall apart
In my old house, I found
Weird dolls resembling you and me when we were little kids
They were way too lifelike
But then I tried to touch it and it melted in my fingertips
Skin was slime between my hands that wouldn’t stay together
Can’t discern the properties, it had magnetic poles
I was trying to fix him up so I could live the past
There’s something about the way he moves that made him fall apart
The clay that humans wear, the ink of human touch
The clay that humans wear, the ink of human touch
I was trying to fix him up so I could live the past
There’s something about the way he moves that made him fall apart
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9. |
I see you
03:24
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All my little habits and obsessions leaking through from inside out
Can’t recall anything I’ve been told that leads me to this kind of game
Maybe I should play it silently and hope you get the best of me
Waiting for the truth just passing through, but I only want what gets me you
So is it just cold in your mind again
Everything I do is for you to see
I would live my life through your private eyes
So I just wish you could be here and
See me the way I see you
I’m a little girl and I don’t want it to be this way, I am different
I am changing sources that you view, I plug in different monitors
I am not afraid to go in front and let you judge what I can be
I should be direct, but I don’t want to, it’s easy to be extreme
So is it just cold in your mind again
Everything I do is for you to see
I would live my life through your private eyes
So I just wish you could be here and
See me the way I see you
I see you, I see you
Do I see you?
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10. |
But When I Know Who I Am
03:53
|
|||
|
I knew a boy at school named William
And we didn’t get along
But it struck me how it shifted
And he was one of my few friends
He moved away at some early age
And I never thought of him much
But I guess my brain retained how
I had never had that trust
I had a dream that we were both at
A giant school with deadly traps
I traveled far and wide to find him
In an attic wooden black
I had come back from the future
cause I knew that he was dead
And the blood came rush before me,
but we always knew our lines
William, I know you are dead
If you don’t get out of your head
How can I tell you to leave
Without saying that I love thee?
I walked away when I lied
“You know, I have always loved you”
Suddenly, his suicidal perch
Turned into my own shadow’s lurk
I went around this school with errands
Tossed around by random kids
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here
But I’ll always grant your wish
And now William thinks he owns me
Cause he thinks that love is cute
And I’ll stay with it regardless
Cause I live avoiding guilt
Should I be proud or confused
As the savior of this poor boy?
All that I do is appease
And I wonder what will I be?
Should I be proud or confused
As the savior of this poor boy?
All that I do is appease
And I wonder what will I be?
But when I know who I am
There are so many things to add
But when I know who I am
There are so many things to add
|
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11. |
Ekans
02:48
|
|||
|
Have you ever promised you’d do crazy things?
Commit yourself to one thing and write it down?
Is it possible to hurt my own feelings?
But I believe people change and it’s inevitable
And if I had a mirror to look
Into the future, what would I be?
I see myself defying my own past
I see myself defying my own past
Just like Sharon and Joni swapped each other’s dreams
What I am might once have been foreign to me
But even then the people wouldn’t see that I grow
Physical appearance is everything
And if I had a mirror to look
Into the future, what would I be?
I see myself defying my own past
I see myself defying my own past
Stay with me, even if I always change
Stay with me, even if I never change
I write you, I write you
I write you, I write you
I’m right you, I’m right you
I’m right you, I’m right you
|
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Lylajean Evanston, Illinois
Lyla (she/her), 22. New single 女優 / まだ愛がない out now! Check out my Subscribe tab for a way to support me and get access to demo albums of exclusive content, with new ones dropping almost every month. lylajean.bandcamp.com/subscribe
Lylajean recommends:
<3 I created the artwork for this great album. Tobias (Carndye) co-produced my songs "Actress", "But When I Know Who I Am", and more.
go to album
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